Wedding Invitation Etiquette Spelled Out

Wedding invitation etiquette can be hard to learn, especially if you're doing your wedding invitations for the first time without help. Here are some easy, spelled out rules for creating and sending your invitations to make the process easier.

General Invitation Etiquette

If your invitations are whimsical and unusual, the recipients may expect something out of the ordinary. If the invitations are formal, recipients will expect a formal affair. Invitations should be mailed six to eight weeks before your wedding. The etiquette you use when sending your wedding invitations can also set the tone for your celebration, so it's important to follow a few special pointers for proper invitation etiquette. This will help to keep the peace among your family and friends so that you can enjoy your day without worrying about anyone being left out or offended.

Enclosures Etiquette

The response card is traditionally used for gathering totals for the caterer and getting a general number of guests attending. Save the date cards are not used as a substitute for the wedding invitation and typically mentions that an invitation will follow. Other pieces often included in the ensemble are the reception card or folder, map or direction card, and accommodation information. The recipient is asked to mail back the response card roughly two weeks before the wedding or by the date indicated.

Envelopes Etiquette

When addressing the inner invitation envelope, address it to the individuals you are inviting, ie. John and Mary Smith. Seal n' send wedding invitations many times don't come with envelopes. You fold and address them. If you ordered a seal n' send that doesn't have envelopes, you can usually order envelopes separately from the invitation company. Invitation envelopes can come in several shapes, sizes and colors.

Destination Invitation Etiquette

Stylized fonts can be used to convey the atmosphere you want to have at your wedding - relaxed, formal, or laid back. If you're designing your own invitations, you have a wide range of latitude for choosing colors, styles, fonts, and envelope inserts that will beach your beach theme. If you'd like to have beach wedding invitations or photo wedding invitations, have them designed or create them on your own. This is a great way to make your wedding stand out from the other weddings your guests have been invited to so they are sure to remember your special day.

Homemade Invitation Etiquette

If you are very specific, and you do it in a kind way, people will be more likely to enjoy spending your wedding day with you. It's understandable that you want to cut down on wedding costs, but don't create any bad feelings by not being specific in your invitations. Whether you make your own invitations or have them printed by a professional printer, they should be high in quality and you should proofread them for printing so that embarrassing mistakes can be eliminated. If you have printed the invitations on your home computer, you can print the envelopes by using special calligraphic fonts.

Saving Money Without Losing Etiquette

Whether you use traditional invitation designs or come up with something whimsical of your own, you can save money by finding your wedding invitations online. In the past, wedding invitations had to be printed by a printer who charged a premium for engraving and other services. With the competition of wedding invitation businesses thriving, inexpensive wedding invitations are more easily found online. Invitations can be very costly for many couples unless they are aware where to look.

With these a snap rules, your wedding invitation experience should be easy and your invites should be mailed out without worry.

Great Las Vegas weddings have amazing invitations from VegasWedlock.com. Or try unique wedding invitations from AmericanWedlock.com.

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Wedding Etiquette Secrets Revealed

Learn how to plan, manage and adapt etiquette to your wedding that give you a memorable wedding event for your life... Here's part of the topics you will learn inside: * How to properly determine who's doing what. * Discover how to handle invitations and announcements. * Learn the several key elements to remember for the wedding shower. * A step by step guideline of what normal wedding showers include. * Learn all the different things you should include in the invitations. * Discover what else goes in the wedding invitations. and much more...

Price: $8.97

Click here to buy from Amazon

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Wedding Invitations Primer - Wording Samples, Etiquette, Trends and Costs

Wedding invitations are the focal point of your wedding stationery, providing the first glimpse into the style and formality of the wedding. While save-the-dates can be flirty and fun, your invitations will be a true reflection of your event. Plan your wedding invitations with care with my complete wedding invitation planning guide.

The Anatomy of a Wedding Invitation

Wedding Invitations can include a number of enclosures, depending on the nature of your wedding and your stationery budget. (obviously more enclosures means higher costs)

o Outer envelope: Holds all enclosures, formally addressed to the recipient.

o Inner envelope: Holds all contents of the formal, third-person invitation for protection during shipping.

o Reception card: Specifies where and when the reception will be held - usually included only if the ceremony and reception take place at different locations.

o Response card: On which your guests indicate acceptance or regrets. In self-addressed stamped envelope. Make sure to include an RSVP deadline.

o Map/Directional: Optional insertion to help guests navigate and arrange for accommodations

Cost & Budget Considerations

Before you go shopping, become familiar with the invitation printing process and lingo; this will help you determine your needs in advance and avoid unnecessary costs. Price is determined per invitation, so if your guest list is huge - be prepared to designate a significant portion of your budget to wedding invitations. Costs can range anywhere from $1-$50 each. Bulky papers, colored inks and unique graphics all increase the cost. Custom designs can also be pricey. Printing options also affect the cost.

Invitation Printing Options:

o Engraving - most formal and most expensive - results in raised print that is pressed through the back

o Thermography - less expensive than engraving - results in raised print that does not press through the back

o Lithography - less expensive than either engraving or theromography - results in print that is neither raised nor pressed through

o Laser printing - the least expensive option. - produced on a laser printer and results in print similar to that of lithography.

When factoring total costs, don't forget to consider postage as part of your budget, including stamps for the response card envelopes. Looking for ways to save? Keep your design simple, sticking to one color. Use lighter weight papers and include less inserts. Use response postcards instead of cards with envelopes.

Trends

As with all other aspects of your wedding, your invitations give you an opportunity to reflect a particular color, theme, and/or season of your wedding. During the spring, include pressed flowers or a flower blossom motif featuring the colors of your wedding. Hot right now is Asian-inspired floral motifs or anything 3D that adds texture. For the fall, incorporate warm, colorful leaves. For a summer wedding, feature seashells and starfish with brilliant ocean-blues or sunset-orange/reds. And for the winter, incorporate snowflakes on a simple white invitation.

Other popular suggestions range from unique color combinations and patterns, to ribbons or other clever themed items such as bindings. Many couples are going back to the traditional, formal look and featuring both sets of initials as monograms on the cover, but what's even hotter is a creative logo or historic family seal. Whatever you decide, make your invitations innovative and unique to your personal style and wedding.

Tips, Rules & Etiquette

o When to send them - send wedding invitations 6-8 weeks before the big day. (if you think your guests will need more advanced notice, send save-the-date cards as well) Try to order invitations 3-4 months in advance to ensure they go out on time.

o How many to order - Order about 25% more than the number of guests you're inviting - you're bound to make mistakes or make last minute additions.

o Consider hiring a calligrapher for an added touch of elegance. (this is the first impression of your wedding!) Make sure to factor in the additional timing to ensure your invitations go out on time. Many rules apply to wording and addressing invitations. Here are some of the basics to ensure yours are "faux pas-free":

Invitation Wording Etiquette

o Dates and times should be spelled out (half after four o'clock in the evening, not 4:30pm, and the twenty-second of April, not April 22)

o Mr. and Mrs. are abbreviated and Jr. may be, but the title Doctor should be spelled out

o No punctuation is used, except after abbreviations and between the city and state.

o An invitation to just the wedding ceremony does not include an R.S.V.P

o "Hosting" the wedding can mean anything from a set of parents helping to plan the event, inviting the guests, or covering the costs:

If there is one set of hosts, list their names at the beginning.

If both sets are hosting, list on separate lines with bride's parents first.

If one set is hosting but you want to include the other set as well, note their names under their son/daughter's name.

If you are hosting your own wedding, begin with the request line and state parent's relationship under your name.

If you and both sets of parents are hosting, list your names first followed by "together with their parents" before the request line.

Addressing Etiquette

o No abbreviations, except for Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Jr. States must also be spelled out.

o If one of your single guests is bringing a date that you know personally, send that person a separate invitation instead of including "& Guest" on the inner envelope.

o If you are unable to obtain the name of a single friend's guest - indicate on the inner envelope that they may bring a guest - NOT on the outer envelope. (this looks awkward)

o Unmarried couples who live together should receive one invitation, where their names are listed in alphabetical order and on their own lines.

o Invited guests who are living together as roommates, not couples, should each receive their own invitation.

o List the names of children under the age of 18 who still live at home on the inner envelope instead of "& Family" which can be very ambiguous and easily misinterpreted. Children over the age of 18 should receive their own invitation, regardless of their living situation.

o The traditional, married couple recipient should follow this format:

Mr. & Mrs. Ryan Parker

2211 First Street, Apartment 3

San Diego, California 92109

Wedding Invitation Wording Samples

Gone are the days when wedding etiquette mandated that the bride's parents, and the bride's parent's only, hosted the wedding. Today anyone can foot the bill, and with modern familial arrangements often anything but nuclear, there is no straightforward rule for wording invitations. We've sorted through the confusion to bring you wording samples for the most common arrangements:

Simple, Traditional Format

[proper names of those hosting] (official hosts line) request the honour of your presence (request line) at the marriage of their [relationship of the bride to the host] [bride's first and middle names] to [groom's full name], the [day of the week] of [day and month of wedding] at [hour] o'clock in the [time of day] at [name of wedding venue] in [city, state] Reception to follow

Divorced Parents

[proper name of host] requests the honor of your presence at the marriage of [his/her] [relationship of the bride to the host]

Or, if parent is remarried and hosting with new spouse:

[proper names of those hosting] request the honor of your presence at the marriage of [his/her] [relationship of the bride to the host]

Or, if divorced parents are mutually hosting:

[proper name of mother] and [proper name of father] request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their [relationship of the bride to the host]

When the bride's one living parent is hosting The invitation is issued only in the name of the living parent:

Mr. [Mrs.] Jonathan Stephen Smith and Timothy Wright requests the honor of your presence at the marriage of his [her] daughter Elizabeth Ann

When the Bride and Groom host

The honor of your presence is requested it the marriage of Miss Ashley Johnson to Mr. Paul Wilkins

OR

Miss Ashley Johnson and Mr. Paul Wilkins request the honor of your presence at their marriage

Alternative "Request Line" Options

o "pleasure of your company"

o "honor of your presence" (used instead of the formal "honor" when ceremony does not take place in a house of worship)

o "share and celebrate in their joy" another creative idea that reflects the theme and tone of your wedding.

More ways to save on wedding invitations can be found at this guide to budget-friendly stationery.

Looking for more ideas? You can search hundreds of wedding invitations in this interactive invitation and stationery photo gallery.

Cori Russell is editor for Elegala.com and Gala Weddings Magazine. Elegala.com is a comprehensive wedding planning resource with a national directory of wedding venues and services, along with articles, expert advice, checklists and photo galleries to lead brides through every step of the planning process.

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Wedding Photographer Etiquette: When, And When Not, To Shoot

When WPJA photographer Michael Barber made his award-winning photograph of a bride shimmying up into her descending gown, it was a proverbial Hail Mary shot. Barber?s photojournalist background enabled him to conquer a challenging situation. With no ladder and no picture possible at eye level, he pre-focused the camera, lifted it up over the dress and fired away.

Photo by Michael Barber

?I didn?t know what picture I had until I saw it,? he says. ?It goes back to my press conference and sports photography days where I was working in a pack and it was impossible to get a good picture at eye level. The spontaneity of the photo makes it fun.?

Spontaneous moments like these are what every wedding photojournalist works to capture, but not all uninhibited moments are humorous or touching. Some can be downright embarrassing. Should you shoot when a bridesmaid has a wardrobe malfunction ? la Janet Jackson? Walk away when the bride disrobes to put on her dress? Photograph an adorable five-year-old flower girl who?s half in, half out of her dress? As a wedding photojournalist, when is it appropriate to document a moment and when should you walk away?

?I?m there as a storyteller, not a voyeur,? says Barber. ?Clients are comfortable knowing that that?s my role. Changing clothes is an awkward moment perhaps, but certainly not one that gets in the way.?

Barber leaves the decision of whether he should stay or go up to the bride. ?It comes down to the client?s comfort level. We all know she has to change from street clothes to bridal gown. I have a conversation with her before the wedding about that moment and tell her I?ll leave the room when she?s not comfortable and come back when she is. My respect for them and their respect for me allow me to work most of the time when they?re changing without much ado. But I have clients who want me to leave when it comes time to change. Then when I go back in she?s completely dressed, which is fine, too.?

It?s rare for anyone to ask WPJA award-winning photographer Matt Kim not to take pictures, he says, in the bridal chamber or anywhere else. He?s actually often surprised by how much access he has to private moments?including hostile ones. Emotions run high at weddings and fights or disagreements can happen, ?but I don?t shy away from that,? he says. ?I hang in there and photograph it as an observer.?

Photo by Matt Kim

Kim?s award-winning photograph, taken earlier this year of a private moment in a San Francisco bridal chamber, shows just how comfortable his brides are with him in the room while they change. Kim caught the bride?s comical grimace as her friends helped her into her dress. ?Getting into those dresses isn?t the most comfortable or easiest thing to do,? he says. Difficult wedding gown wrangling is a scenario that happens frequently at Kim?s weddings, but so far none of his brides has shied away from including those private images in their online and paper albums.

Michael Barber believes the bride dressing into her gown is an important moment that shouldn?t be missed and he relishes the opportunity to be there. ?Sometimes there is so much going on that I?m left in the hall and they forget to come get me,? he says. ?I have to be attentive to that situation because otherwise I?ll miss the moment of the dress going on. It?s a transformational moment. The bride is transforming from a nervous girl, who has so much on her mind, to a bride ready to meet her groom. That moment is what we?re really after, and it?s a big moment for her, as well as her mother, sisters and friends.?

Would it be easier if the bridal suite photographer were female? Barber is not so sure. ?It?s not so much who?s in the room but what?s taken out of that room that?s the difference,? he notes. ?If a bride is comfortable enough to walk around in her underwear in front of a male or female photographer, that doesn?t necessarily mean she wants those images online or in her album where her friends and family can see. So a female photographer may have greater access, but even still she needs to be discreet.?

Privacy is in the eye of the beholder, according to wedding photographer Julia Bailey. ?Sometimes brides say, ?No way are you taking a picture until my dress is on,? and others say, ?Oh, can you take some nudes???

?I tend to have beautiful brides,? Bailey continues. ?There?s no reason why they shouldn?t show off their bodies. Often they ask if I can take a picture of them with nothing on but their veil. Sometimes we do a [pre-wedding] session and put a book together that they give to their fianc? on their wedding day as a gift.?

Like Michael Barber, Bailey believes that her discretion in handling nude and sensitive photos is paramount; therefore, she places those images in a separate gallery on her web site. ?If I take some photographs where body parts are exposed as a bride is getting her dress on?like breasts, even in silhouette?I don?t put those online where anyone can see,? she explains. ?I put them in a private gallery that is locked and can be accessed only by the bride. Then it?s up to her if she wants anyone to see them. I do the same thing with nude portraits.?

Matt Kim is also sensitive toward indiscrete moments that can happen during a wedding, especially at the reception, where on the dance floor intoxicated women in strapless gowns can reveal more than they realize. ?I delete those images,? he says flatly. On the other hand, when something dramatic happens he doesn?t hesitate to shoot. ?At a wedding that took place on a hot day, one of the groomsmen fell straight over,? Kim remembers. ?I ran over and pointed my camera but people were saying, ?Don?t take the picture.? I took a couple of shots but backed off instead of trying to completely capture the moment.?

The gentleman recovered and was fine, says Kim, but it begs the question: Should you photograph wedding guests in distress? ?I think you?d have to be in the situation to figure it out,? he says honestly. ?But if a grandparent fell over with a heart attack or something, I don?t see the benefit of photographing it. In my work I?m trying to convey the truth of what happened, but God forbid if someone died. Hopefully I would have some pictures of the grandparent alive.

Photo by Julia Bailey

When it comes to photographing nude children, Julia Bailey hesitates, in part because she is a mother herself, but also because she?s sensitive about even the appearance of sexual exploitation. She has taken photographs of children partially clothed, she says, ?but even though it?s an adorable moment, I?m aware that it can be misconstrued as pornographic.? So Bailey is frugal about taking pictures of undressed children, except when she just can?t help herself. ?Once I did get a picture of a little girl in her bloomers who was about to get her dress on. She was very shy and covered herself up with her arms. I couldn?t resist; her shyness was so cute.?

Shyness, however, just doesn?t come up very often with Bailey?s brides. Even though she looks a little like an alien in her old-fashioned hair drying bonnet, the underwear-clad bride in Bailey?s award-winning photograph had no qualms about being photographed while she got ready for her New Orleans wedding. And more than one bride has exposed herself in front of Bailey?s male assistant, Max, who happens to be her fianc?. ?There was one bride who walked around nearly nude in front of him and she was fine with it, but it made me uncomfortable. I said, ?Hey, you?re not supposed to see that!??

? By Lorna Gentry for the Wedding Photojournalist Association

View the original article here

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